Week Update 20
It's here, the moment we've been waiting for, the arrival of Lisa. Within the space of a week we've introduced Lisa to the array of landscapes that Canada has to offer, from a picturesque road trip through to Furry Creek (where Happy Gilmore was filmed) through to the breath taking waterfalls of Shannon's Falls, the neighbouring lakes in Whistler in which we felt compelled to buy a blow up boat from Wall Mart (an obvious sound investment that was worth the sacrifice of our weekly groceries), surrounded by the most unbelievable mountains- Canada is kind of a somebody on the scenery scale.
Lisa's arrival has provided a near perfect illustration of the old saying about troubles coming in threes. As our first night out in Whistler ended with us being kicked out of Buffalo Bills over a toilet paper misunderstanding, only after we sneaked in a game of pool with the Russian mafia which I will take this moment to mention that Julia and I won, mind you, this may be credited to Lisa and Emilie distracting our opponents by can canning around the pool table in a fashionably drunk style. Then waking up to the kick in the guts that our ol' mate cider never fails to pull through with, as well as a random blood cut on my forehead which we account to the vague memory of Lisa slamming the door into my head. Oh how we've become entangled in an ever growing web of vagueness- oh cider you do get the better of us!
The next of our nightlife antics started with the drinking game of 'Captain Dickhead', a promising start if there ever was one, followed by a dance affair at Moe Joe's for the glow party. I've said it a thousand times before note to self in order to avoid both looking like a tool and compromising our lives, steer clear of glow sticks, this also extends to glow paint but without fail, we wake up to glow paint smeared all over the pillow cases and the hazard of glow sticks in the most unlikely of places, we have quite the souvenir collection. After a childish dare that we had going on which earned me a few free drinks, we left Moe Joe's where we naturally gravitate towards Fat Tony's Pizza, it's one of those things that go without saying. Genius is a supreme capacity for getting its possessors into trouble, something as genius as pizza in the early hours of the morning, isn't always as simple a task as anticipated. I'm still baffled how complete strangers think it's perfectly acceptable to grab your pizza and throw it to the wind, you wouldn't believe how often this situation has happened to us. Sometimes you need powerful arsenal to deal with certain types of people in your life.
This was another night which proved that the klutz in Julia is alive and well, providing entertainment for the mob outside Fat Tony's when a fight broke out between two guys, I can't imagine how often this happens over a some douche throwing someone else's pizza, I know for one that I was on the brink of going all Jerry Springer when my piece was stolen. In the midst of the fight, Julia was knocked at full force to the pavement by the two pizza fighters when she was innocently standing there, enjoying the last prized ham and cheese pizza when she was pushed to the ground. Julz came up with grazed feet and hands, partly due to the reluctance to let go of her pizza. Most people instinctively put there hands out to break their fall but not our Julz, even in the fastest of movements, as a mother would throw herself in front of a bus to protect her child, Julia threw out both hands to protect her beloved pizza, that is an unselfish love if there ever was one.
After the glow party, we soldiered on to our friend's house for a bbq /party the following night. It was the perfect setting with a cabin style house and a table long enough to host beer pong. Let me tell you, for someone who has been playing basketball for years, Lisa's skills don't exactly extend to throwing a ping pong ball, I was a one man team out there, although her methods of distraction ranked us as one of the most sort after competitors. Beer pong's principal weapon is the psyche-out, a diversionary tactic to break the shooter's concentration and make them miss, these loose guidelines allowed for some creative thinking.
Forget every definition of fear and sheer terror you've ever understood. Forget all the laws of common sense, that tell you not to stand in front of a car going 100km per hour, touch a hot burner, or jump off a 160-foot bridge. Oh how naive we'd been, when we'd stumbled across signs that pointed towards the Whistler Bungee where our innocent thoughts didn't extend past a good photo op of complete strangers jumping off a bridge, ah each to their own. I'm still not sure how we got from there to the next point but before we could truly process the gravity of the situation, Julia and I found ourselves standing on a 160 ft high bridge platform, the last link to the real world, spanning 300ft over the glacial-fed Cheakamus River. We had no intention of actually going through with it, the extent of our thrill seeking had only consisted of petty theft of a Christmas tree and trespassing in a hotel hot tub, to name a few. I made the impulsive decision to jump which can only be credited to the stolen brain cells from our 5 month cider bender, followed by Julia's strong willed declaration of "Well, if you do it, I feel like I have to do it." The thing about impulsive decisions is that it doesn't allow you to dress for the occasion- let's just say that between the camera angle combined with my tights doesn't exactly catch me in the best light.
I went first for the ultimate "trust fall," where it took quite a bit of force from the instructor to release my grip from the bars as he shoved himself right up nice and close behind me, yeah apparently that's normal protocol, if only we had a penny for every time a girl has heard that. Next thing, my legs made the leap without my permission. I was out and away from the platform, where I suddenly realised that jumping off a bridge is probably not the most intelligent decision I've ever made, once again continuing with our trend of poor decision making. I waved my arms around in a grabbing motion to try and miraculously fly my way back up to the platform, like the delicate swan I am. I was forced to allow myself to fall at an ever increasing rate, completely powerless to stop the fall, I did the only rational thing a girl could do in this situation aside from throwing up, although that wasn't too far from the likely of outcomes, I screamed the entire time- to quote the instructor "Wow, we haven't heard a scream like that in a while."
Then it was the second of the delicate swans to jump. It took a couple of count downs for Julz to take Whistler's ultimate adrenaline rush, I thought it was our words of wisdom that helped Julz find the proper mental state to jump, it later turns out that she was drawing her courage from the wise words of a complete stranger telling her that she would regret it if she didn't do it and her friend does, and how dare we not share an experience together at this point. Julz jumped screaming"F%#* YOU ALL" which echoed while she hung like a yo-yo and reiterated when she was pulled back up, ah once again hindsight is a wonderful thing.
And the third of the delicate swans resembled Casper with a hang-over. Lisa's thrill seeking extended to being able to actually stand on the bridge, as this was an accomplishment within itself. She made sure that she allowed herself a good distance between her and the edge, a few missed photo ops of us actually bungee jumping but a few goodies with us standing on the platform. We'll wait until the end of her trip for her to jump, when the introduction of cider has robbed her of a few brain cells.
There was life before the jump, and now there is only life after the jump.
I think it's safe to assume that we've given Lisa an all Julz & Lydia welcoming to Whistler. We've introduced her to the Whistler's hub of scenery, array of nightclubs and all the mischief that comes with it, the infamous cider, even exposed her to some rare sightings including a coyote and Helen Mirren which brings our celebrity sighting total to 4.
Life is pretty freakin A-mazing here!
Love
Lydia and Julia x
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