Lydia & Julz Go Large Week 10

Week Update 10

Following the journey of the modern day version of dumb and dumber: blond and blonder

Julia was walking to the bus stop in the snow, smiling to herself as she'd never been so happy as she was in that moment- the snow is one of the many charms of living in the best ski town in the world. When she got to the bus stop, she got her phone out to message me as to how happy she was, when this guy drove up to the bus stop, unwound his window and started throwing snowballs at her. She was the only one at the bus stop to get hit with snowballs, as the guy next to her was shaking his head, cursing after the car- she didn't know whether to laugh or cry.

On Wednesday night, we went to Moe Joe's for Quatchi's birthday, only to find our mate Quatchi behind the bar with his shirt off. Judging by his facebook photos, this seems to be all to common for ol' Quatchi. We ended up playing pool ALL night, where we'd won 4 games in a row- potentially our greatest accomplishment since arriving in Whistler. Speaking of accomplishments, Quatchi's goal to quote "Drink himself into a coma" was nearly achieved. This ended with yet another walk of previously uncharted level of shame to Fat Tony's Pizza- who can be held responsible for that top button that just wont do up.

On Friday night, we went to Buffalo Bills for Ladies Night and we were graced with a glass of free champagne on arrival which later became the disgrace of us. We were making our way onto the dance floor, where we were stopped in our tracks, as inches away from Julia's head was a well-worn Dunlop shoe, as yet another doosh bag was star jumping in the cage on the dance floor, then kicking his legs through the bars and near kicked Julz in the head. We didn't lose momentum though, we soldiered onto the dance floor, only to be approached by a couple of guys, challenging us to a dance off-  you'd be surprised how often this happens to me. I politely said "No, we're fine thanks, maybe later!"and then Julia was yelling out from behind me "Do your Sprinkler! Do the Sprinkler!" I think she still had a rush of adrenaline after the near kick to the head but she was already pushing the crowd back to form a circle. What can I say? I was at the mercy of a higher power, I surrendered myself to the crowd's chants and performed my signature move, only to have my opponent break out into a laughable two step- what does he think this is? He was embarrassingly out of his league, not ready to roll with the big boys!

I was telling Anika at work about the dance off at Buffalo Bills which turned into a lively discussion (translated: argument) about who the better dancer between her and I was. As there was clearly only one way of settling this, we had a dance off in the Hat Gallery (as you do) during a quiet period, cranking up  "Beat it!" Michael Jackson on the stereo- I reiterate, you'd be surprised how often someone challenges me to a dance off. That was until I tried to show off with a scissor kick and landed on my ankle, falling down on the table of Lillie & Cohoe hats that were on display. This unfortunately meant that Anika won, purely out of default might I add....to be continued. While she was doing her victory laps around the store after her charitable win, and pleased with herself that she escaped a sprained ankle, little did she know what karma had in store for her. As when we were waiting at the bus stop, we turned to find Anika belly smacked against the footpath. She had slipped on the edge of the path, and apparently forgot how to put her hands out to break her fall. 

Julia and I share a rare synchronicity- finishing each other's sentences, predicting each other's drink desires etc, so there was no surprise when we were all dressed up in our snowboarding gear which is a task within itself might I add, only to look to one and other with "Can we really be bothered going up to the mountain today?" So we spent the entire day playing pool at Cinnamon Bear, practising our hustling skills and overindulging in the free refills of Coke. Our pool obsession has provided us with a whole new realm in which to connect, that is of course until Julia somehow cut her finger on the pool cue- our pool date was short lived after this. She went up to the bar to ask for a bandaid to control the excessive bleeding despite it having the similarities of a paper cut, only to have the waitress say straight off the bat, "Pool injury?" like this was a regular occurrence. Instead of giving Julia a bandaid, she pulls out an actual bandage for Julia's paper cut- ohhh pleeease!

It really hasn't been Julia's week between strangers pelting snow balls at her, doosh bags near kicking her in the head and an unexplainable cue stick injury. It didn't stop there, after a night out at Tommy Africa's for the traditional 80's Night, Julia woke up with the surprise of a black eye, we are yet to put our finger on the pulse as to how this occurred. We've narrowed it down to a potential jumping the pizza queue at Fat Tony's Pizza, this is the likely of scenarios. The night was quite the fuzz of visibility, thanks to the berry flavoured cider- the beverage that helps define Canadians within the international boozemmunity.

Oh and further to the one German sentence that I know of "Ich bin eine Nuss, im eine Buse!" (translated: I'm a nut on a bus), this became the amusement on the bus, when yet another doosh bag (hmmm...sensing a pattern?) thought it was perfectly acceptable to try to take away a slice of my pizza. This got the same reaction, as the doosh that tried taking my glow sticks at a glow party- as Fat Tony's Pizza is at 3am, it's not a good place to be. As there were Swiss-German guys sitting in front of us on the bus who were as equally unimpressed with this guy, I thought what better timing to put my one German sentence to good use and call him a nut on a bus in German. That ended with high fives walking down the aisle.

Love

Lydia and Julia x

Lydia & Julz Go Large Week 9

Week Update 9

 We've applied for another apartment, as our current living situation is wearing thin. One of our roommate's is becoming difficult to live with, his one of those types to label everything that is his - No! we're clearly not interested in your protein shakes and No! you don't have to hide your Grandmother's maple syrup in your room but by all means help yourself to our unopened peanut butter and leave the lid off- that's a roommate remedy right there! Don't even get us started with the cupcake saga. And God forbid we have to listen to the song "Sheeps go to Heaven, Goats go to Hell!" one more time! Please note that if we suspiciously go missing, there is a wine cellar underneath our pantry, we may have a Leighton Meester on our hands.


Dancing at Longhorn's on a Sunday night is much like the ice hockey here- anything goes! I was thankful to leave the bar with only a bruised eyebrow bone after some drunk doosh bag didn't understand the concept of person space, and ended up head butting me in the eye- way to make an impression! That was not the only beating that I took that night, aside from the head butt there was a boob in the eye, as girls that are are super model height, aggressively waved them around, the curse of being the daughter of a jockey, I was clearly in a danger zone! And then their was the fist air pumping that went on, as people were going nuts as soon as the song 'Chumbawumba' came on, and so the lyrics go "I get knocked down but I get up again, you're never going to keep me down!". So between dodging the fist air pumping, and boobs on the loose, I felt as though I was trapped in a super sonic game- game over bitch!
The dance floor was out of control, there were girls dancing on the bar- I think we can all blame the release of Coyote Ugly for planting that seed. Julia and I tried matching the half naked girls dancing on the bar, with bringing our best to the podium, unleashing some pretty sexy moves. I don't mean to brag but I did pull out the big guns with an air guitar to the best of Jon Bon Jovi- to quote some guy had come up to me with "I thought you were cool until I saw you dance!" Admittedly, I wasn't in my best form as my vision was rather blurred from the smoke machine and the double vodka shots equally measured. Needless to say, there was a frenzy of activity on the dance floor.
During our shining moment on the podium, this German guy decided to jump up on the podium with us, yelling out "Ich bine eine Nus". Oh how I regret ever mentioning the one German sentence I know, as every time I run into this guy I have this forced conversation about Nuts on a Bus. The German guy had way too much excitement, in his attempt to replicate my air guitar, he near swiped me off the podium- it really wasn't my night, now you know why I was lucky to only walk away with a bruised eyebrow bone.
This was the drawing point of "I think it' time to go home"as any longer I was pushing my nine lives to the limit, where we made our way to Zogs for the mid night fries stop. Needless to say, I walked away covered in mayonnaise, as Julia had flung mayo all over my Kathmandu jacket- accident prone much!

Then there was Valentine's day, and what better way to celebrate with a morning snowboard together in a snow blizzard, friends that near kill themselves together, stay together. After, surviving the blizzard, we went out for breakfast then later went out for dinner and cocktails over candlelight with another friend, toasting to all the single ladies. After dinner, we went out to Tommy Africa's for 80's Night, where Julia caused a fist fight amongst two guys that were both trying to pick her up, whilst this was happening Julia obliviously continued twirling her glow sticks, then later realised that the two guys rolling around on the dance floor punching on were fighting over her. We stepped over them and headed to the bar for more porn star shots before heading home in a taxi. The taxi driver gave us two Valentine cupcakes, who would have thought that our Valentine would be the guy we were paying to drive us home. Little did we know that there was an anti- Valentine's Day celebration around the corner for the singles- just our luck.

We've had more snow the past four days than Ben Lomond has had in 10 years, therefore have made a conscious effort to spend more time on the mountain this week. As we've been up quite a bit lately, we've started tackling some steeper hills. Julia has it down pat, and is confidently gliding down, however I'm still having difficulty linking my turns, which has resulted in many thrills and spills, I'd even had difficulty getting off the chair lift which ended with a face plant on the concreted snow. I looked up to Julia for a little help, only to find her flirting with the 'lifty', throwing snow balls at one and other, don't mind me! By the end of the day, I started to get it and we were both gliding confidently down the hill, and just as we had reached the end, I got a little over confident and lost control. I flew over a clump of snow, and landed on my back, winding myself, I wasn't quick to get up thi time around. The true friend that Julia is, sympathetically layed beside me until I caught my breath back. The impact of this fall, felt as though someone had punched me in the face, I am yet to befriend the mountain!

Love

Lydia & Julia x

Lydia & Julz Go Large Week 8

Week Update 8

I dragged Julia out to Moe Joe's, following the age ol' quote "We'll just go out for a few!"and besides we really needed to make amends after my performance of crying over my jacket- "no ticket no jacket"- I wasn't risking that again, although I did notice the sneak increase in drink prices. We walked into the club, where the atmosphere was very gangster, a well- known rapper was hosting the night, I forget his name but all the guys dressed the part with their baggy clothes and beanies, all conforming to the typical snowboarding image; which makes it very difficult to decipher the talent in the room. The ratio of guys to girls would be six guys to every one girl at the best of times, but to sum up the crowd at Moe Joe's in a more classy term, it was a sausage fest. There eyes near popped out of their heads as we walked in, and this is not me being arrogant by any means, it was the mere fact of "Oh my God! Girls!" And the only other girl in the room, was giving Julia the eyes.

After a quick couple of games of pool, and a minor tantrum with a cue stick which resulted in a near dislocated toe on Julia's part, we left shortly after to another bar. We got to GLC, where we enjoyed a beverage or two when I thought I'd made a friend, as we were chatting about the DJ- hey, we're from Tassie with the belief that everyone wants to be your friend, yes just as I wrote that I realised it screams naivety! when she'd randomly came out with, "You've got really nice hair!" After giving her polite yet confused smile as she'd caught me off guard, I looked around the room to find girls pashing each other on the dance floor. Not knowing which way to look, we sculled our drinks, as I think it was evident that we'd wandered into the wrong bar- you've got to love Gay Pride Week in Whistler! This could explain the overwhelming testosterone in Moe Joe's! Ironically, we ended the night with a hot dog from Zogs before catching the bus home.

I was walking home from work, up the icy hill toward our condo, fighting my way through a fierce snow storm with my head burrowed in my jacket, dodging the spearing snowflakes, as no matter where you're face is positioned, they'll get you in the eye. I can't tell you how many contact lens's have been lost in this war- this weather is a bitch for robbing my contact lenses! Ok, ok...calm down tiger! I think I have conveyed enough of how contact lens conscious I am, anyhow as I was walking up the hill, I noticed this hot guy walking my way. As he came closer, our eyes locked, well I think they were, it was hard to tell with all the snow flying at me, I gave him a polite smile followed by a breath taking opening line of "Hello".And just as the words flew out of my mouth, the motherf@#*% of a hill brought me to my knees as I'd slipped on the ice- his line of "Hello" literally brought me to my knees. Although, the knight I assumed he would be tried to pick me up from the ground, asking whether I was ok, and I couldn't help but let out an obvious fake laugh, as you do when you're both embarrassed and nervous. And to top it off, as my face was exposed to the snow, I walked into our condo to find a rather attractive trail of mascara running from my eyes - WHY WHY WHY!!!! Needless to say, I didn't get his number!

Julia and I went out again the other night, and as it was raining and our Kathmandu jackets are all but water repellent, so the rain was seeping through Julia's jacket. The good friend that I am, I took my jacket off to give to Julia for warmth, and held her jacket whilst we got onto the bus. After laughing about the fact that this guy had asked Julia for directions, and Julia turning to me with "Why would he ask me? Surely I'm the ONLY blonde on this bus?" I accidentally left her beloved Kathmandu jacket on the bus seat. Damn me for being a good friend!!! We have however located the jacket after frantic calls to the bus company

Julia and I did the much talked about Peak to Peak this week, which is really just a 10 minute ride on a gondola from one peak of the mountain to another peak. It was perfect conditions for a photo op, as flicking through our facebook photos, there is an obvious lack of scenic photos, all substituted with the classic drink in hand pose. As per usual, Julia was embarrassingly out of control with the camera, although she did get some pretty amazing shots of the mountain, the views are truly incredible. Here are some long overdue scenic shots!

Love

Lydia and Julia x

Lydia & Julz Go Large Week 7

Week Update 7

Thank God for these weekly updates! If you were to ask me what we've done the past 2 months, it has been the blur that was. I think it's safe to say that we've become victims of Whistler's party scene and with that comes the loss of short term memory, I would hate to think of the brain cells that have been lost in this battle. The partying here is just as renowned as the mountains! If you've seen any of our photo uploads the past couple of months, you would know that we've clearly jumped on this band wagon, to the point where Julia contemplated handing in her resume to be a host for Whistler's pub crawl, we're no stranger to Whistler's array of clubs.

We went out for our friend Melissa's 30th birthday which conveniently landed on 80's night, this ended with me hugging the toilet bowl after the last time we were there- although we did manage to steer clear of the glow paint booth this time, we've definitely gone up in the world. The night started with "pornstar" shots and much like the name, we were a glutton for punishment. With our pornstar shots, chased down by many vodka mixes and to add the bar special, jaggermeisser- this was a recipe for disaster and could only end with an embarrassing display of spew in a public carpark! We've all been there and it turns out we're still there. As Melissa turned the dirty thirty, she took it upon herself to impart some words of wisdom and told us to make the most of our time here, besides (quote) "We're in Whistler Bitch!" in slurring tones. Nevertheless we seem to subscribe to the same school of thought.

Following the "shot gun" methodology, that we've been following since we were 13 years old, we walked into Tommy Africa's,  where Julia had shot gunned this guy who we'd nicknamed 'Where's Wally', as the last time we saw him out he was wearing a red and white stripped beanie, so naturally a 'Where's Wally' reference was appropriate. After much debate as to who he was more interested in, and Emilie swearing that Julia and Where's Wally shared a moment together- to quote Emilie, "They're so hooking up tonight!" we learned that he was in fact gay- it was probably the guy behind us that he was sharing a moment with. I don't know where our Gayda's were? Has living in Melbourne taught me nothing?! Well...discussing conversational ploys to draw him in was 15 mins of our lives that we will never get back. There was no point crying in our beers about it, and so the rules of the art of seduction continue, it just wont be with Where's Wally!

In our frequent bouts of insightful thinking, we had one of those "aha moments" where we thought we could start a DIY service for waxing. And when I say we, I mean Julia as I'm clearly both hopeless and a little on the sadistic side to be waxing other people. Julia waxed both mine and Emlie's eyebrows for the first time, which I am happy to report that we still have both our eyebrows intact! Although, I did ensure Emilie was the guinea pig, as missing half an eyebrow would definitely be stretching the friendship. Aside from almost being blinded by the oil that she accidentally dropped in my eye, she did a really great job.

We get asked the constant question of how we go living together?! Well....Julia and I just love sharing EVERYTHING, from hair straightener to shampoo from a bed to clothes, from a laptop to camera, the only thing we don't share is underwear- and there is no hiding who's is who's there! Needless to say that at times, we can be two scorpions in one hole but we wouldn't have it any other way.


The sports enthusiasts that we clearly are, we've decided to stay in Whistler for the summer, as from what we hear, it is amazing. It's one thing to learn how to snowboard but I can't really say that the idea of hiking and mountain bike riding are alluring.

We've made the decision to carve a week or two out of our party schedules to travel to Mexico in May with our friend Emilie and have just found out that Miss Lisa is coming too- so bring on the henna tattoo's and hair braiding- a treat for not only the eyes but the ears!

"All the single ladies, all the single ladies, put your hands up!"

Love

Lydia & Julia x

SKI SHOTS