Lydia & Julz Go Large Week 27

Week Update 27

Tale from the trail: We clearly don't have a will to live, as the dare devil is us saw for us mountain bike riding up at Whistler mountain with our friend Toni, where only a couple months ago we were snowboarding down the same tracks "shredding the mountain." We were lured into Ladies night with the incentive of beers at the GLC after, it doesn't take much to twist our arm with ol' Frank the Tank beside me. We were all kitted up in our ninja turtle outfits, padded out to the hiltons with helmets that made us look as though our heads were trapped in an elevator, to sum it up, we were pretty darn attractive. When asked which side we braked on, we all stood there drawing blanks with no recollection of the last time we'd actually been on a bike. The sports enthusiasts that we are, we waltzed out in our gear, twirling our helmets which the instructor had to remind us that they're not handbags, girls! simply an accessory to our mountain bike, much like our snowboards were. After I was disheartened with being offered a kids bike, I ended up getting stuck with a seat that was way too high, I was tippy toeing to keep my balance, a height that made you feel every knook and cranny along the trail. We all gathered around with our instructor asking all the appropriate safety questions, i.e the statistics of injuries, he assured us that it is unlikely we were going to injury ourselves. As the words flew out of his mouth, this guy comes flying down the mountain behind him, running straight into the metal pole, knocking him off his bike.

It's a lot harder to follow the breath catching method of standing on the hill look as athletic as possible without actually moving any muscles and if anyone asks what you're doing, you simply say "I'm just catching my breath." This method was applied early on with snowboarding but doesn't seem to be a successful approach for mountain biking. It's all good and well to look as athletic as possible seeing as though the biker outfit does this for you but we found it difficult to control our bikes especially when your bike seat is cutting off your circulation. We were totally unprepared for and unaccustomed to the terrain. People actually enjoy this? we wondered. We had to go back to learning the basics of mountain bike riding, suddenly we couldn't see passed the days of training wheels and now we're about to take on one of the best mountain biking trails in the world. Our instructor thought it would be easier for us to relate to biking to the way we drive, little does he know that I had to cry to get my licence. Julia and I took in turns of being on the tail end of the pack, the one sport that doesn't bring out the competitive beast in us.

Our first task was to put our bikes on the gondola. Julia was yelling at me from behind to watch how the others did it but I couldn't see or hear passed my helmet. As my turn came to putting the bike on the gondola, my bike wouldn't go. I was chasing behind my bike in the most awkwardest of movements as it was half on the gondola, while the gondola kept moving. Strangers yelled out for me to get my back wheel onto the gondola, while I'm still chasing after my bike like a complete idiot in front of an audience of fellow mountain bikers.

I saw my chance to catch up, digging deep, arms and feet numb from the repeated shocks of sticks, rocks and holes in the ground, then as I came to the corner, I lost control of my bike, skidding around the corner from under me. Following the instructor's advice of "biking is just like driving," I can assure you that my mountain bike didn't handle the corner like my Yaris. I took on a muddy corner the way I'd take it driving. Next thing I know I'm lying there in the mud with my bike on top of me, wiping the mud from my scunned hands, not to mention I ruined my pants. I don't know how I could have lost sight of "You don't control the mountain, the mountain controls you" I've certainly made no headway with that relationship.

We've finally came down from the mountain, even more attractive as we were all showered in sweat and ready for our victory beer. We've now adopted the summer phrase of "yeah we bike," this was a lesson learnt from the awkward conversation in winter as to whether we board or ski, the minimum requirement to living in Whistler.

Continuing with our sudden health kick, we took to the tennis courts to work off the after effects of 6 months of accumulated pizza and beer. The only tennis rackets that were available were the size of table tennis rackets, hardly a preventative for throwing a racket across the court. Admittedly, I'm more of a Leighton Hewitt on the court, as my brother can attest to being on the brunt of a thrown racket or two. Good sportsmanship is a thing of the past. That game ended quickly, with me storming off the court, racketless and Julia being forced to play against the wall. Tennis is a fickle sport. No matter how good you are at it, a wall will always be better, so that didn't last long either.

We were out walking on our usual walk, walking to Creekside along the lake. As we'd come around the corner, Julia freezes in her track, eyes popping out of her head and smacks me in the belly to get my attention. A couple of footsteps away, lies a snake. Julia has a major aversion towards snakes. In a state of panic, she knocked me completely aside and started back up the path. I was still bent over where she'd left me, recovering from the smack in the guts. If it's not bears or bats, it's a snake.

For two people to not really be snowboarders or skiers or mountain bikers or hikers or even have a slight love of nature, I'm not sure how we ended up in Canada.

Love

Lydia and Julia x

Lydia & Julz Go Large Week 26

Week Update 26

Keeping up with our walks, we decided to walk in the opposite direction and trek through the wildness rather than take our usual route. We were deep in conversation, discussing who was going to be eliminated from the Bachelorette, especially after the Bentley controversy. We were walking along the path, when we could see something flying ahead of us. I was trying to make out the image through my contact lens, "Is that a bird? Possibly a large butterfly?"
As we came closer to the flying thing, we were still a little apprehensive about what is was that was flying around, as it was only a metre above the ground. As curious as we were, we hung back while the girl in front of us paced ahead. It was as if the girl didn't even notice this thing flying above her head and in her path, demanding her attention. That was until it swooped down at her but even then she flagged it off as if it were a mosquito buzzing around her head. The typical snowboarder chick approach, anything to repel against any signs of femininity- Ok, Avril Lavigne! We get it, you don't wear dresses, wouldn't be caught dead in pink and yeah you would never be caught crying in a closet about a spider either! A little embarrassed about our sudden obvious halt, as if the flying thing was daring us to walk on. We picked up the pace, continuing on with our deep conversation about having to rush back for the Bachelorette. As we got closer, Julia freezes in our path, grabs me and throws me to the ground in one swift movement, as the flying thing is now swooping at us. Only when it was inches away, did we think it was a flying mouse....not a bird, not a hulk of a butterfly but a bat. We layed there on the ground, "what the hell?" we were both frozen in fear, screaming while this bat dive bombs us. All these years I was under the misconception that bats were nocturnal, you didn't prepare us for that one, Bear Grylls. This was worse than the time I had to throw my Nan to the ground and duck for cover from psychotic plovers and then army crawl my way passed the paddocks. While we were being terrorized by this creature, Julz had a moment of clarity and pulled rank ordering me to soldier onwards passed the bat, as we were ever so close to getting out of the attack zone. All good in theory. This bat wasn't going anywhere, it wouldn't let us past, he was sending an obvious message here- if these woods could talk! Our sense of thrill seeking was fulfilled the moment we jumped off the 160ft bridge over the glacial-fed Cheakamus River, there is no further point to prove with defying the laws of common sense again. We did the only rational thing we could think of and took the noble approach sprinting for dear life. We came back from the walk a little more psychologically damaged from when we left but shared the view of investing in a helmet for future walks.

Julz and I have been enjoying the pool at our new place, swimming a lot after work. We took our lilos down to the pool with our volleyball (the Wallmart purchase that was held captive at the tow truck company) and literally spent hours throwing the ball back and forth- it just doesn't get old. That was until our competitive natures got the better of us, and what started as a little friendly throw back and forth soon emerged into a full force pelt. Julia took a charity shot and pelted the volleyball straight at me in a ploy to draw the attention of the Frenchmen in the hot tub as I was still choking on the water and wiping my eyes from struggling in the deep end, the ball flew straight into my face, had no time to put my hands up in defence. Nothing quite gets the eyes watering like a ball spearing straight into your nose, it's a worse feeling than belly smacking the water, the type that winds you. I was clutching my nose to ensure that nothing was broken. I've come to the realisation that my nose must be indestructible, as it's survived a guy trying to twirl me (key word being 'trying') and ended up with him coat hangering me straight into my nose earlier in the week and let's not forget the countless falls learning how to snow board. I'll keep chipping away at it, until I've replicated Michael Jackson's. Meanwhile, two old lady's took off around the pool, floating on our lilos assuming they were the hotels.

We went out a couple of times this week, as we're still refraining from bringing out the full extent of "Frank the Tank" in us, just for the month of June although our friend Erin came close by corrupting us with fireball. This substance led us to near being evicted from our new place, as we were caught in the hot tub at 4:00am and had the surprise of the security guard handing us our towel and confiscating our pool key. This was shortly after we had to boost one and other over the fence, as our keys were useless after 10:30am. It was not without it's efforts for a mere 10mins of hot tub bliss. 

The next of our nights out, we started with a party in the Hat shop which made for some interesting photos of playing dress-ups.

Love

Lydia and Julia x

Lydia & Julz Go Large Week 25

Week Update 25

Earlier this week, Julzie and I thought it best to surrender to a much needed detox after fretting over whether to call 911 to report a stolen vehicle, a vehicle that had a flat battery at that. This intelligent train of thought could only be attributed to the infamous cider, if that doesn't highlight the affects of cider, I don't know what does. We went on the cabbage soup diet which lasted only a few days, every time I looked over at Julia, all I could see was a piece of fried chicken talking back at me. We've put a weekly regimen into place, starting with a walk in the mornings, before our brains actually have a chance to figure out what we're doing. And we even went as far as setting our alarms to get up to do yoga, despite being incapable of standing on our head with our legs wrapped in a pretzel position. We were already to do the downward dog when our instructor didn't show up. All dressed up and nowhere to go although we did leave with a sudden craving for a soft pretzel and world peace, just a couple of yogi's at heart.

The Vancouver Canucks are in the Stanley Cup finals (the first time since 1994), and haven't ever won the Stanley Cup, reason enough to let the detox ship sail in the name of creating league history. The Canucks were unable to derail the Boston Bruins, losing 5-2 in Game 6, triggering an abundance of beer to drown the sorrows of Whistlerites. The ice-hockey never fails to bring out at the animated characters of the world that scream at the screen "Kick his head in," always on the fringe of breaking out into a riot in a full scale bar brawl. I've always found it amusing how fans can sit in front of the TV screen with a beer, instructing the players how to play the game all while thinking they can do better.

We naturally gravitate towards the pub games whether it be pool or darts. Tapley's bar held my i.d hostage in exchange for darts. We formed an amateur girl league called the Bullseye Bitches which basically entitles us to be able to make up the rules as we go along. The occasional non-league folks that walked passed insisted that we were standing way to close to the dart board but we measured the distance in terms of whether we'd be hit by the dart if it bounced back. Safety first. Although, Julzie missed this memo and speared herself in the foot with a wandering dart. Oh Julzie, she certainly has a knack for making life more interesting!

This was the first time we'd been out since Lisa's departure, we may as well make the most of it- when in Whistler! We trailled onto Tommy Africa's after our dart tournament where we were awoken to the fashion faux pas: belly tops! Tell me this isn't making a come back?! Of all the current trends, belly baring is not cute perhaps in Spice Girl days but to see someone’s muffin top and a full fledged belly! I would love for one of these girls to walk through either one of parents houses parading around with a quarter of a top. I mean I'm no fashinista with the odd Erkle pants but It actually looked like they'd forgot their shirt.

Love

Lydia and Julia x

Lydia & Julz Go Large Week 24

Week Update 24

To continue with the running theme of being on the fringe of robbing a food bank, Julia asked me cut her hair as another cost-effective "aha" idea. As she is a hairdresser, she had very specific instructions about how to cut her hair, making me demonstrate how I hold the scissors as the angle needed to be precise, it's all about the angle. She said, trim the back and take off the length. A consultation which felt as though took hours put me in great preparation to carefully construct my masterpiece...

Not sure what happened, but now she has kind of a bob cut...

I mean it's not like she suffered at the hands of your mum with the kitchen scissors around a pudding bowl, it's just a little shorter than she'd anticipated. My first DIY haircut concluded.

We've moved into our new pad which is so ah-mazing, aside from the bears that greet us at the front door and the raccoons that raid our bin- just at one with nature! Our days have been spent drinking wine in the hot tub, swimming in the pool, as the guy swimming with his kids said behind me in a not so short ear shot "Do you want cocktail, love?"- ah these are the days of our lives. And not to leave out the luxury of living with another female, no more battling the great conundrum of the toilet seat, it's not difficult to comprehend that toilet seats go down, not to pinpoint anyone, Dave and Shane! I think this is one that will never be solved because it's embedded genetic code in men and women with regard to the infamous toilet seat debate.

Aside from the misunderstanding with the toilet seat etiquette, it was a little sad saying good-bye to our home in Creekside where we've spent the last 6 months. On our last night, I was sitting on the bed when I'd caught a glimpse of movement which prompted a quick dive off the bed screaming, countless carpet burn injuries have occurred this way. Our last night in Creekside was spent with me in the closet in my underwear crying and Julia pacing up and down weighing up the logistics of taking on a jumping spider that was flying around from the lamp shade above our bed. Anyone who knows me, knows I'm terrified of spiders to the point of phobia, I suffer a panic attack at the mere mention of a spider, so in mine and Julia's friendship we have the common unspoken rule that it is her role to take care of any spiders, preferably without my knowledge! This co-op took a good 45mins to complete, as Julia was suddenly too scared, nearly in tears saying "I'm sorry, I can't deal with them when they're jumping around." Meanwhile, I'm still in the wardrobe crying in my underwear,pleading for her to get it. After a few deep breaths and squeals, Julz mustered up enough courage to vacuum it up only to find that it was actually a moth caught in a cob web, not quite the jumping spider we were crying in the closet about.

The day before we started moving our things, we started to pack some of our necessities into the van- a pink volleyball, 1 x of my $300 pair of boots, Julia's ski pants and a 16 pk of toilet paper. After debating whether to get my boot out and laughing about who is going to steal my one boot, despite me insisting upon getting the rice crackers out of the car as they may be all too attractive to the homeless...we came down to the van the next morning to find that it had gone. First things first, lets establish whether it was stolen or towed away? The cider intake has certainly robbed us of a few braincells as it took a solid 12hrs to realise that it couldn't have been stolen as the car battery was dead. It was the blind leading the blind. We finally located the car where it was patiently waiting for us at Whistler Towing Company only after we dived into the cider fund- $200 later!! I couldn't part ways with my one boot. As soon as we handed over the money, the guy tried jump starting the van with no luck, after attempting this for 45mins, the van got a little bit of charge. We were instructed to drive straight to our new home as it would likely die any minute. The tow truck company drove behind us as a precautionary measure, to avoid another blond and blonder moment with the car breaking down. Just as we'd pulled into the Tantalus Lodge the car died.  Another instance where we had to push past our impatience and wade through yet another learning curve.

Love

Lydia and Julia x

Lydia & Julz Go Large Week 23

Week Update 23

We went down to Vancouver for a couple of days for Lisa's last days in Canada, hired a car and road tripped down, once again Julia opted to be the designated driver. The girl who thinks red lights are merely a suggestion. I'm more of a : Curb? What Curb? type of driver hence why I'm down to two hub caps on my little Yaris. I think there was a general consensus that we couldn't afford the insurance excess if I were to drive, no time for being polite in the face of forking out life savings, a detriment to the cider fund.

We visited Stanley Park, Vancouver's oasis to get some great scenic shots where Julia's camera went flat after the first couple of pics which only stayed alive long enough to capture the glistening grime on the rocks. We also went to the Vancouver Aquarium, which expanded my list of animals for the next animal game I play, I think I can add Beluga Whales to the memory bank. We explored the city in true shopaholic form, shopping on Robson Street and Granville Street, to spend the bonus that our boss gave us for shoes. The embarrassment of being on the poverty line like most Whistlerites at that, is that shoes with a sole are very few and far between. Julia and I had to stay focused on the shopping exhibition, after all, she attempted to sneak in a $12 pair of thongs in the shopping trolley at Wall mart, when we'd already made an executive decision to buy the $4 pair of thongs each, let's not get crazy now, we're not made of money. Then we caught the sky train (the way of the future) to Metrotown, where a city slicker 'accidently' (a debatable term) stomped on Julia's toe when he was rushing off the sky train, the $4 pair of thongs doesn't exactly provide the best protection. We went to Metrotown which was continually referred to as Motown for a little more shopping where we went to see the Hang Over II, which reinforced the notion of "We made a pack, Wolf pack only" aka "What happens in Canada, stays in Canada."

Vancouver, the city with a high homelessness rate. Each corner, there was someone asking for money, it's such a competitive market. The signs are a mini gallery of the most creative ways of asking for money. The most entertaining was a sign saying 'Smile if you masturbate.' This eye opener experience has put us in great stead for the day we are performing the double dream hands on the corner of Granville Street with our ol' mate with the sign 'Smile if you masturbate' backing us up with the harmonica.

Our friend Mitch in Vancouver with our ol' mate

We stayed at the Sandman hotel, contrary to the lyrics, Mr. Sandman, bring me a dream (Bum bum bum bum), the only thing I was left with was a pulled back muscle after we decided to take a late night dip in the hotel pool. Ok, ok I have no other way of putting this other than admitting that I was showing off, trying to do a back flip in the pool, overestimating my flexibility and ended with a pulled back muscle, yep still a delicate swan. This was the perfect example of the"Watch this!" injury. I should have learnt this lesson from last week - if there is a physical feat that you're rather proud of, don't try to show someone when you're drunk or better yet when your flexibility has aged since the last time you've performed this maneuver.

Then the time had come to say good-bye to the third stooge, it was the tear jerker of the past three weeks. It was hard saying good-bye to our good friend. Where is the “good” in goodbye?

It’s something unpredictable, but in the end is right, I hope you had the time of your life, Patto!

Then there were two....

Love

Lydia and Julia x