Week Update 18
We attended the much hyped about End Party, to end the Telus Festival which consisted of over 1000 attendees and pushed the curfew boundaries of Whistler to 4am (usually a 2am lock out). A local politician quoted, "If you make it through the Telus Festival without drugs and with your clothes still on, you shouldn't be here in the first place."As the event was sponsored by Durex, the décor remained in theme with scattered condoms all over the floor and the walking stis’parading around in there bikini’s advocating safe sex by stashing a handful of condoms into each girls purse- 10 for you, 20 for them! After all, condoms are a very valuable commodity, one of which glued itself onto the heel of my shoe, trailing behind me like toilet paper that found itself tucked into your undies- don't look so mortified, we've all been there, I just wish I had an idea of the length of time the condom made itself at home on my shoe. Then there were the guys gathering up condoms, planning evil genius ways to dispense them, only able to muster up enough intelligence to blow them up and bounce them off potential pick-up’s heads- some people are just all too smooth for there own good. As resourceful little boys go,earlier in the week I was walking through the village and a group of guys standing on a balcony above me had attached a condom onto a fishing rod, trying to hook girls that walked past- well, I was the trout that was smacked in the cheek with a condom- Whistlerites have way too much time on there hands. The ski bums are completely exempt from any obligations concerning morale, although in there defence, I’m sure the cider is significant in this equation. Like most people our age, life would not be complete without an embarrassing moment that echoed through the walls of self esteem. I’m sure our parents would not only have one cow, but the whole damn farm if they knew we were given an endless supply of condoms. There was so much action during this tasteful time, we didn't seem out of place, and certainly no odder than the guy on the side of the stage wearing fashionably ill spandex pants and dancing to M.C Hammer tunes, who remembered my 'Big fish, little fish, put it in a box' move from Australia Day. He was clearly promoting that there were a few diamonds in the rough. Note: don't underestimate men in spandex. It cuts off circulation but improves memory skills somehow, this was a lesson that I should have learnt from the leprechauns from St. Patrick's Day. A great portion of the so-called locals of Whistler are in fact Australian, not exactly a culture shock when you arrive here but have earnt the reputation of waking up with a hang over after a five month bender still ready to go out and party some more as soon as he steals a clean shirt from his unsuspecting roommate.
One of the stalls at the Telus Festival were giving away free flavoured milk bottles on the hour and as Julia and I were working together, she ducked out to get us some free milk on the hour. Keeping in mind that this picture postcard lifestyle provides for an empty dinner plate, so the mere thought of a freebie in this town, sends locals a little crazy hence I sent Julia to get the milk. Julia sprinted down early to beat the rush, only to have to fight her way through the crowd- this girl has watched way too many Jerry Springer episodes. She finally got her hands on two milk bottles, when a little boy next to her throw up his complimentary milk, splashing over Julia's ballet flat. Just when you think you get ahead in life, life throws you a bit of spew.
Love
Lydia and Julia x
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