Week Update 16
We've had a much needed quiet couple of weeks, due to being on the brink of bursting a lung and the lack of self control when we're out, as all voice of reason is thrown to the wind, we've limited the going out to once or twice a week. The checklist on the "What did we do last night?" is rampantly evolving, so we've had to nip it in the bud with throwing in a few Jerry Springer marathons!
Although, our roommate invited us to a house party, which we ended up missing, as we were all too engrossed in a dice drinking game which robbed us of 4litres of cider, if only we could remember that 4 and 1 is touch your nose! Our ability to count was impaired by the cider. For $8, the substance just takes, takes, takes- our judgment, vision, speech, dignity. We ended up having a massive night, going to both Moe Joe's and Tommy Africas, another night of being slapped with the glow paint stick. The highlight being that we had a much craved for beef burrito, and there is nothing like being all-consumed by the taste of a burrito in the early hours of the morning. Just as I got onto the bus, my burrito slipped out of my hand and onto the bus. I don't think I can convey enough of the full drama of my emotional meltdown. I put it down the bus service's innate ability to make my life more complicated- when in doubt, blame the bus company.
Cash flow is a mysterious force in our household, always enough for a berry flavoured cider but never seem to have enough for a steak. We had a banana for dinner the other night during a black out. And as Julia came up the stairs with the banana, she "accidentally" (that term is debatable) throw the banana to me (or at me), bruising my cheek bone. Times are tough, when you're wished good night with a bruised banana and cheekbone. I now know why a great portion of the long term residents of Whistler look like malnourished Afghan hounds.
We went to local night at Buffalo Bills, as we hadn't been since Julia dislocated her knee, even the bouncer had noted on our arrival that we hadn't been in for a few weeks. As soon as we got in there, I was cornered by a guy that I'd met the first night in Whistler, where he took it upon himself to be ever so charming (this was the guy who thought I would be flattered by the name of Pocahontas), sharing his feelings of what a complete bitch I was. As he had walked me home on my first night out and as I wasn't 100% sure where I actually lived, we walked round for a solid 2 hours until I found our condo, in minus degree temperatures. He asked whether he could come inside just for a minute to gain some feeling back in his fingers and I virtually slammed the door in his face (his choice of words not mine). And apparently he had to take a few days off work after that night, as he caught the flu and had to see a doctor with a possible case of frost bite. Is it just me or are guys sounding more like girls these days- the sensitivity roles have reversed?
After a couple of charitable dances, whipping out my sexy 'Big fish, little fish put it in a box' dance moves, I escaped to the nearest exit, only to get to coat check and realise that Julia took my Kathmandu jacket, as there was only one ticket for our jackets, and she' d left early for another late night hot tub. Well...that's just dandy isn't it?
As I was on such a smooth role, I thought I would swing by the coffee shop to subtlety check out the hot guy that works there. After babbling and slurring to the hot coffee guy in a very poor attempt to flirt, I talked andtalked, as girls do when there are awkward silences, only to have the realisation dawn on me that I was in fact the only one contributing to the conversation. As my conversational skills were on the fast track to nowhere, I thought a sexy hair flip would get me back in the game- the only thing that came of that was an unnecessary neck pain. This situation was so much more romantic in my head. As if my strike out rate hadn't already peaked, I was walking out backwards, with a closing line of "I'll talk to you later" underlining subtext of "Call me!" and then SMACK! I walked right into the glass door on my way out- another case of adding insult to injury. I was so mortified that as soon as everything was intact, my dignity excluded I walked out to the sound of sadistic laughter, I'm not going to hold my breath for a call back!
I sat at the bus stop by myself, without my Kathmandu jacket reflecting on the "situation" back there in the coffee shop, and just when I thought my night couldn't get any grimmer, the woman sitting beside me had no qualms about discussing her Chlamydia scare in front of an audience of complete strangers- talk about an awkward night.
Love
Lydia and Julia x
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