This week, we’ve decided to bite the bullet and get ourselves up the mountain, as it’s getting very embarrassing when people ask the question, “Do you board or ski?”
This is the introductory line that all locals use when meeting new people and despite our lack of experience on an actual board, we’ve found that we too have adopted this phrase. Our response has gone from “Kinda neither” which has progressed to “Hell yeah we board!” after the frowns and the “Well, what are you doing in Whistler?” comments.
After getting dressed up, looking the part of a pro boarder, we went and met up with a friend to go up the Gondola at Whistler Creekside. We were full of excitement, taking our boards out for the first time as they had been newly waxed. We were already to use the terms “We shredded the mountain” and that was “Epic” – typical snowboarding lingo. We enjoyed a nice ride on the chairlift, taking in all the phenomenal scenery, snapping every moment on the camera only to get to the top of the mountain to find that my bindings on my board were too small. After, the disappointment of getting so far and not being able to board, we made the most of it and took a few more photos which may deceiving look like we “shredded the mountain” and then came back down 15 minutes later. A typical start! I’m not sure why these things just keep happening to us?? You can imagine Julia, repeatedly shaking her head, “Lydia, you are hopeless!”
The next day we built up momentum again to attempt to snow board, in which a friend of ours, Sam who is a snowboard instructor took us up to a training ground. As it had been snowing all day, the ground was covered in powder, ideal snow conditions for the novice who is going to fall a lot. We learnt snowboarding via a two step method:
Step One: Watching Sam do something
Step Two: Trying to do it ourselves
We were pretty good at Step One. The problem with Step Two was that you had to get up onto your board from sitting on the ground, this took an entire lesson for Julia to master, as Sam had to start her off by pulling her up, each run. Sam would yell out helpfully; “You just get up onto your board”. If only Julia was learning how to ski, as she’d have her ski poles to stab him for every time her yelled that out.
We appear to have a fundamental difference in technique in comparison to other “boarders”: They seem to board via the downhill method, in which you board down the mountain, whereas we like to think we board via the Breath- Catching method, in which you stand on the hill, looking as athletic as possible without actually moving muscles. And if anyone asks whether you’re OK, you simply say “I’m just catching my breath!” in a tone that suggests that any moment you are going to swoop rapidly down the mountain. After a few hours, of going up and down a 30 metre run, only to get to the bottom on the hill, and undo our boots from our bindings then walk all the way back up to repeat this frustrating cycle. Our patience had worn thin, and the state of our bodies has led us to an all-painkiller diet.
The next of our snowboarding experience lasted for a whole 5mins. Both Julia and I had the day off work, and thought we’d learnt enough from our lesson with Sam to be able to go up by ourselves. As it hadn’t been snowing for a few days, the snow was like a base of reinforced concrete – you could not dent this snow with a jackhammer. This was the session that we’d endured the most pain, we didn’t have the protection of the marshmellowy powder when we’d fall, this was just like learning how to skateboard and falling onto the gravel, and it stung- real bad. Julia spat the goo after the first 5mins, she was as rigid as a statue on top of the training hill and I was secretly happy to go home when we did, as every part of my body ached. As they say in our training video, you don’t control the mountain, the mountain controls you- and the mountain certainly hasn’t taken a liking to us, after throwing us across the solid ice on a number of occasions.
Although, we’ll persevere with snowboarding, as we’ve paid for our ski pass now. We’ll just wait for another snow day.
This week was meant to be our recovery week, after Julia has grown a new friend on her lip (cold sore) and the overall fragility of our bodies. Although, once again, against our better judgement we’ve been out 4 times this week, where we’ve woke up to find our new party friend Emily in our bed. We went out to a bar called the GLC, which plays the best music –where we may make a weekly appearance there. A Spice Girls number came on, “Wannabe” and as girls do when they drink too much, we jumped up and down screaming “Oh my God, I love this song!” We climbed on top on the chairs, forming a podium for ourselves singing to the most memorable song of our teenage years, surrounded by 19 year olds (average age in Whistler). When Julia and I glanced at one and other, both severely out of breath that we just couldn’t get out that last chorus, and had to take a breather – following the Breath- Catching method again! Perhaps our bodies just don’t move as well as they did a few years ago because it certainly wouldn’t be the extra kilos that we’ve put on in recent weeks that were holding us back.
While we were at the GLC, this guy came up to Julia and said, “Are you from Tennessee?” Julia disgusted and offended, as we’d coped enough grief over a bogan Aussie accents yelled to him, “NO!” in which he continued with, “Because you’re the only 10 I see!”Julia has turned to me and said, “Oh God! Did you hear this guy?”The guy was still standing beside her when she’d said this. I think we’ll have to award him with pick up of the week.
Love
Lydia and Julia x
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